But You Don’t Know My Family

Really and truly, as a Christian, I try to live by what the Bible says.  And when I read Romans 12:18  which says, (KJV) “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men,” the first thing that pops into my mind is, “But God, you just don’t know my family.”

Isn’t it a shame that sometimes it is easier to get along with everyone else than it is to get along with family? Why is that?

When I visited a funeral home to make my condolences to a grieving family friend she was surrounded by a loving family and they all were consoling one another and I thought, “Why can’t my family be like this?”

Last summer the last sibling I had passed away.  That is so sad and made me feel almost abandoned because I’m the youngest of mom’s nine children and they are all gone now except me. And people were kind and came to the funeral home and the cemetery and were supportive. Except for one close relative. She came after the service started and left while the last prayer was being said and didn’t speak to any of the family. Why would anyone do that?

This same relative came and spent a week in our area visiting her stepmom’s family, then called me on Sunday morning of the day she was leaving to go home wanting to know if she could run by and tour my new home.  No, I was about to leave to go to church and there wouldn’t be anyone there to conduct her on the tour she wanted.  Not a word about wanting to see or visit with me – just wanting a tour of my new house on her way out of town.

Yes, I want to live peaceably with others but “others” make it hard.

Social media blows up with images, too, that make me say, “Aw-w-w-w-w-w, why can’t my family be like that?” Brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, gathered around a bride and groom, cooing over a new baby, helping celebrate a graduation. Yes, I have to fight my envy because while I have all these relatives and some of them do all those things, there are those who just seem to make it impossible to “live peaceably” with them.

This week another relative passed away.  I’m sorry, and I sent condolences to her grandchildren, my great-nieces and nephews. Then I got a sweet note back with appreciation for the condolences and a request for prayers for peace this week because there is friction among family members that is making it difficult for those who are grieving.  Why are people like this?

No one person can make everything right and peaceable but one person can control their own tongue. I’m praying I’ll be able to control mine when I’m around people who act like everything should be run in accordance with their rules and for their convenience.

Sometimes I ask myself when I keep my mouth shut for the sake of peace, is it really the Christian way?  Or am I just a wimp?  Maybe I’m not being either; maybe I just need an intervention!

 

Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.

Please, Lord, help me guard my mouth and tongue!

National Quilting Day

Does everyone know when National Quilting Day and Worldwide Quilting Day is?  It is the third Saturday in March. Oh my, that is TODAY!

So I’m going to show you what I’m working on, quilt-wise, on this day set aside to recognize quilters and quilting.

I have a huge box of neutral strings just waiting to be sewn into something lovely and another box full of strings of fabric in every color I’ve ever worked with. I rummaged through the colored strings and began sewing together the blue ones and then I made squares of the neutral ones.

Then I split them and sewed the triangles together to make the center of the block you see above.  Then I cut a lot of triangles from blue and from neutral fabrics and sewed them together.  I mean a LOT.  There are 1,188 of the little square blocks that are half neutral and half blue.  And yes, every single one of those triangles was cut by hand, by me, and sewn with its mate, one at a time.

And then they were sewn one square to another square.

And then squares were added until there were three sewn together and enough to go at the top and bottom of each block. Then I had to make sets of five to go on each side of the block.

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I could hardly wait to see these come together!  Here is the first row:

And then here it is with two rows sewn together:

And I have now gotten four rows sewn together – half way done!

And my inspiration for this came, as so many of my quilts do, from Bonnie Hunter and a quilt she made and called Blue Skies.  Here is her quilt:

So this is what I’m working on this National Quilting Day.  I hope your day is as much fun as mine.

 

Why the Bees are Dying

When I was a young girl, not in the Neanderthal era but shortly afterward,  Grandmother told me why some places have more clover and therefore more bees than other places.  No, you didn’t ask for this story but I’m going to tell it to you anyway.

There were two towns along the same road and one town had hardly any single ladies and the other town was full of old maids.  The “Old Maid Town” had lots of clover and an abundance of bees while the other town had crops that needed the bees for pollination but had very few.  Things were getting disparate for the farmers and so they sent a delegation to the Old Maid Town to ask if there was someone there who would like to move, with their beehives, to the bee-less town.

The town council called a meeting and invited all interested parties to attend. The bee-less town made its pitch to get some beekeepers to come over but no one would volunteer.  But one man stood up in the back of the room and told the visitors from the bee-less town that all they really needed to do to increase the bee population was to import some old maids.

This caused quite a hullabaloo as no one could get the connection between the bees and the old maids.

So the man asked them, did they not know that mice eat bees and destroy beehives?  And isn’t it true that cats catch mice and keep the mouse population under control?  Don’t you realize that old maids keep cats?  If you import old maids your bee population will return.

So I’m thinking of this story today and thinking what is wrong is we just don’t have enough old maids around anymore.

Your Greatest Power

You probably think you don’t have any power, but you are wrong.  You have a vast amount of power and I want to encourage you to use it.

My super power is the ability to turn scraps of fabric into quilts for people to love.  But I have other powers and so do you.

One day at work a teacher I had in 7^th grade came to me and I had not seen her for years. We chatted awhile and caught up a bit on each other’s life and then as she was leaving she asked me if I remembered what I said to her the last day of class as I was leaving her room and I had to tell her I did not.  Then she said to me, “I’ve never forgotten what you said to me that day, and it got me through some really bad times.”  She didn’t tell me what I said and I have no recollection of it but the impact of her telling me this was profound.  I just learned that my everyday words held power and could influence someone even when I did not know it.

Everyone who speaks holds this same power. Words affect people so we should be careful what we say.

But the greatest power any of us have is our power to be.

You and I have the power to be more loving to each other and to our fellow man. We have the power to be more friendly, forgiving, tolerant, and humble.  We have the power TO BE.

What are you going to be today?

Women’s Day

It never occurred to me that I’m an International Woman but I read today on the Internet that today is YOUR day and the finger was pointing right off the screen at me.  So it must be true since I saw it on the Internet, right? 

I don’t know what all the brouhaha is about, women in my family have always felt that every day is our day.  You see, we know who actually runs the show. 

Yes, even in things as simple as feeding our families we run the show.  And one of the secrets our women know is that our kids and our husbands have better days when they know and like what they are having for dinner. 

It was baffling to me when Bob and I first married and he would finish a breakfast of sausage, eggs, biscuits and gravy and before he left the table want to know what we were having for supper.  We had just finished eating, the dishes were still on the table and I was NOT thinking of supper yet.  But he was.  And I discovered if I could tell him what we were going to have, his day was a better day.  He would come in at the end of the work day and say, “I’ve been thinking about this supper all day.”  Not only did it sustain him because he ate it, it sustained him all day as he worked and thought about having some of his favorite foods to look forward to. His day was better and trust me on this ladies, when his day is better yours will be too. 

So although I wasn’t the sort who usually knew at 6:30 in the morning what we would be eating at 6:30 in the evening I began to sort of plan ahead so I could at least give him a general outline. “We are having a roast for supper.”  Or, “I think I’ll fix some greens and cornbread for supper.” Now I for sure would be having some vegetables with the roast but he was happy just knowing he would have roast because he knew enough to know there would be bread and gravy with it and probably more. He looked forward to coming home and his day went better. 

It is no small thing to realize that your spouse or children are more relaxed and happy the whole day when they know what’s for dinner.  This probably seems silly to some. Why would it matter so much? I can happily eat a bowl of soup everyday and call it dinner but not my family!   

When Bob or the kids liked what we were having for dinner their whole day was happier. Then at the supper table they talked more, they shared more about their day, and they had fewer complaints making them much more fun to be around. Happy faces at the table are much more fun to be around than whiny faces. 

So in my little world this woman is going to celebrate because my family is happy. Yes, I still announce what we are going to have for the next meal because it still makes Bob happy to know and anticipate that meal. So he knows we are having beans cooked with hambone, cabbage, and salmon patties for lunch today.  And when I told him that he smiled, really big!  Then he said, “I like cornbread with my beans.”

 It should be a given that there will be cornbread with beans, but I reassured him that yes, there will be cornbread.  He is happy. When he is happy I’m happy.  So from this happy woman’s home to the rest of you I wish you a delightful International Women’s Day.

 

Lord, Prop Us Up on Our Leaning Side

 As I grow older, I think of the story of the old fellow who always prayed, “Lord, prop us up on our leaning side.” 

When asked why he prayed that way, he answered, “Well sir, you see, it’s like this…   I got an old barn out back. It’s been there a long time. It’s withstood a lot of weather, it’s gone through a lot of storms, and it’s stood for many years. It’s still standing. But one day I noticed it was leaning to one side a bit. So I went and got some pine poles and propped it up on its leaning side so it wouldn’t fall. 

Then I got to thinking about how much I was like that old barn. I’ve been around a long time. I’ve withstood a lot of life’s storms, and I’ve withstood a lot of bad weather in life, I’ve withstood a lot of hard times, and I’m still standing, too. But I find myself leaning to one side from time to time, so I like to ask the Lord to prop me up on my leaning side. 

And last Saturday I leaned enough I fell. Twice. But because my wonderful children came to help me and brought Bob’s wheelchair out to the vehicle so I could get from there back into the house I didn’t fall a third time.  God knew I needed good kids and I’m so thankful for those he gave me.  Kevin knew what to do for me but so did Tracey and this morning I had these wonderful Easter cookies with my coffee because Tracey shared them with me. Vanessa took me shopping and Kent picks up my groceries so I am so very blessed.

 

I figure a lot of us get to leaning at times. Not just in our bodies but sometimes we get to leaning toward anger, leaning toward bitterness, leaning toward hatred, leaning toward unfaithfulness, leaning toward a lot of things that we shouldn’t. So we need to pray, “Lord, prop us up on our leaning side, so we will stand straight and tall again to glorify You.” 

We need You, Lord, to give us the strength to stand whenever we get out of balance.  In those times, “Lord, prop us up on our leaning side.” 

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  (Isaiah 41:10)

Frienemy

This morning as I was looking at Facebook I saw a post from a friend who said, “ I am removing  the fake person who tried acting like my friend but thought I wouldn’t find out about you running your mouth. Just wanna make sure you can see this and know why I will never have anything to do with you ever again.”

Do you have people in your life that you just sit back and observe and think, “That’s my friend!”

On the other hand, are there people in your life that you know are only your friend when they are facing you but when you aren’t around they talk about you in unflattering ways?

Remember, no one is perfect. The difference between a good friend who happened to do something you didn’t like and a fake friend is that a good friend does not keep on doing or saying bad stuff about or to you.

How can you identify a frienemy?

·         They are two faced. They smile and laugh with you, but then slander you behind your back.

·         They always gossip about their other friends. 

·         When you’re alone with each other it’s never a problem, but when others are around they constantly try to make you look bad or they ignore you. 

·         They make fun of you. 

·         Everything is a competition to them. They always try to one up you.

·         They purposely give you bad advice so you don’t succeed or surpass them in something. I once knew a lady who, if asked for a recipe, left out a key ingredient so no one else’s food would turn out as good as hers.

·         When they are with others they don’t have time for you. 

·         When you make a mistake they always gloat. 

·         They use you for what you have or know.

·         They are never there when you need them. In your time of need and when you’re going through bad things they disappear. 

·         They never build you up and make you a better person, but are always bringing you down. 

·         They close their mouths at the wrong times. They let you go down the wrong path and allow you to make mistakes. 

·         They are critical. They always see the bad they never see the good. 

·         They are manipulative. 

 You will know them by their fruits.

1.      Matthew 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

2.      Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

3.      Psalms 55:21 The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.

4.      Psalms 41:9 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.

5.      Luke 22:47 While He was still speaking, behold, a crowd came, and the one called Judas, one of the twelve, was preceding them; and he approached Jesus to kiss Him. 48But Jesus said to him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

I know who keeps it real and who is only a friend to my face, and if you think about it you do too. I’m wondering why we do this.  Why do we not call them out? If you are like I, then you just smile and pretend you believe they are your friend and go on about your life knowing they will betray you the first chance they get. 

So here is a big THANK YOU to every one of you who are my real friends.  I know who you are. I know who motivates me and keeps it real. I also know who talks about me and then smiles in my face. I know who I can trust and who to keep at a distance. I know who’s really for me and who is being fake. Whether or not I let you know you’re fake, I know!  And so does the young woman I quoted at the beginning of this blog and who sparked this whole thing.